it has temporarily ceased

and so have i

this is the miserable type of virus which hides all day so that you forget it exists and then roars through the night like a cruel haunt through your nose


i am angry that it came now because i want to be very impressive this week...

but i have not called him all week, partly from the exhaustion and partly from the fear of confronting how long i have allowed it to be silent

but tonight is the first night of the first significant break of the year and since i don't afford myself thousands of dollars or personal glory of any kind, i am insisting that i afford myself one evening of "i'lll worry about it tomorrow..."

i am in bed with two dots on my alarm clock: one for battery low and the other for pm (it is only rarely that i see a "pm" hour as i fall asleep.) my sister deserves me and my fiance too but my brain is constipated with mania.




ew.