a slow motion montage

some days are the hosts of significant events; some days are just placeholders, useless-- this was neither.

a whole gaggle of events came and went, waddling. inane. things you don't care about. ennui. a montage. putting objects in various places. looking into the mirror and unconsciously making silly faces. staring. trying to remember and organize. forgetting. walking right by. today was made up of things that have no place in a movie.

and i was making a case, like we do, in my developing theory of the universe. humanity is basically good. exhibit A: a line of cars stopped at a red light and no one coming. exhibit B: friendly greeting while buying toilet paper.

REVISE THEORY

humanity is basically good when resources are plentiful. exhibit C: i wanted the newspaper without the crinkles in it but the other guy reached under the top one to get the last.

and inasmuch, as i was thinking of my place in cosmic history, i wondered: ˆwhat do you suppose makes a person more valuable than the people around them?ˆ naturally, i discovered in this thought experiment that my boss and all his little boss type drones were certainly NOT more valuable than the people around them, ME, or anyone else for the matter. quite the contrary, i discovered, we are all worth just about the same. revise theory! humanity is basically good when resources are plentiful and the manager isn't being a lunatic.

exhibit D: making espresso is a ∫huge∫ pain in the ass.

then i was riding my bike home, like we do, and i imagined, benignly, firebombing all of the rich houses in the lower garden district. the faces, i could see them all running out in little white lace nightgowns and curlers-- the faces looking just the same as panicked faces running out of slums-- the same as my face. faces all the same but lives all different: can you pick out the first class passengers on the plane just by the pitches in their screams as they crash in a fury or do all the classes together make an alarming cacophony of symmetry, transcending even the starkest contrast in 401ks?

exhibit E: there isn't irony in my intentions when i wear a fedora.

i also wondered if the whole human project hadn't been abandoned after the Crusades like a little kid's early-blown volcano model under the stuffed animals in the closet, & if we all didn't maybe represent the overly-analytical maggots eating on the sugar lava and making a horrible stink, and just as i was wondering what would happen when the kids mom finally found our god-forsaken universe, cameron reminded me to refill the iced tea on table 152 and i realized that: my life is either a waste or it's my mind that's surplus. i hoped for the former case, but wouldn't bet on it.

revise theory: humans are basically thirsty. exhibit F: all the water glasses in the whole station are empty. exhibit G: 49.88 hours this week. overtime. tired. final theory for tuesday, december 1 2009: humans are basically good except in conflicts for resources and when surrounded by lunacy and bad music. exhibits H, I and J: my roommates.