so much of my time has been spent doing shit i didn't actually want to do.

none of this "sure, I can do that" and "of course I'll be there" and "yes" when I really mean NO and NO and NO. that means none of this nasty work your ass off and you'll get paid for it in life credits...

i am living in the most surreal serene scene now and i just cry cry cry sometimes when i'm driving home from work because i'm so happy and i am so whole and everything is so DAMN BEAUTIFUL and life is such a gift-- i'm blessed to be smart and motivated and to have the use of my arms and legs and eyes...

i thought we were supposed to be consumed by ambition and the drive to succeed. i thought you were supposed to throw your time and energy onto the alter in sacrifice to be outstanding... i thought you had to spend every moment of the day and night scraping together your next act; getting bigger and being better and keeping ahead of the game... no stopping to really smell the flowers, i thought you were cheating if you actually sat down on those park benches instead of just briskly dashing through and adding the spot to a list of places you've seen...

(she sobs)

i just didn't know people were allowed to be this satisfied.

i didn't know that just anyone could look you straight with a stranger's eyes and say "brooke... it's okay..." and they'd be telling the truth...