like the goo from a chocolate covered cherry on a white napkin

some anxiety has slipped into the cracks in my crazy euphoric glee.

"how can that woman have made so brisk and cutting a remark to me tonight? does she have any respect for me?"
"how did that guy formulate such an impatient critique of me in so short a moment? what gives him the right?"

but i'm glad, actually.

"i am not susceptible to words. they can be right or wrong but my success is not comprised of other people's words."
"i am strong because i choose patience over criticism, i choose understanding over judgment."

there are lessons to learn with every moment.

"these people who say boldly what is wrong have found the strength to criticize without the fear of repercussions."
"if you can watch them closely, you may find yourself free to speak your mind without putting someone else first."

i struggle to admit my contentment with this moment. i'm afraid to let brooke have a good night.

"i enjoyed myself at work. does that mean i wasn't working hard enough to justify my expensive life?"
"how can i pay the bills with happiness alone? if i am having fun, I must not deserve to be paid enough to live on."

happiness is the only currency that matters.

"i am full and whole."
"each time the poison feeling comes back, I am exposed again how beautiful it is to be without it."